Easy come…easy go…

The longer I am in recovery, the more control I want to have over my life and this includes my financial future.  I’ve always been abominable with money!  There have been times in my life when I was living on the bones of my ass and there have been times when I would have considered myself fairly flush, but it’s always been “easy come, easy go” when it come to money and me.  No matter how much I made, I’d always be broke at the end of the month and as a woman in her early 40s I have virtually nothing to show for my years and years of hard work.  And I’ve always been somewhat flippant about my lack of investments, any sort of retirement plan and the non-existence of any real assets.  I have a couple of things here and there, but if push came to shove, I’d be in a world of economic pain.  I did recently buy a car in preparation for my return to South Africa next month and although I wouldn’t wanted to have admitted it in my carefree, unencumbered addict days, it felt really grown up and satisfying to use my hard-earned money to buy something real.

I’ve worked extremely hard over the past 13 months in a place I abhor, separated from my loved ones, so that I could save some money to jump start my future back home.  It’s been really tough and there have been days when I wanted to throw in the proverbial towel and jump on the next available plane, but I’ve stuck it out and only have another five weeks to go.  It’s been a real test on my patience, and sometimes sanity, but us recovering addicts are tough!  And I’ve managed to put a good amount of money away this year so that I can really start to build my dreams, and believe me they do come at an emotional, mental and financial price.  In fact, yesterday was the first time in over four weeks that I shared so much as a cup of coffee with someone.  My position in the university where I work leaves me in something of a personal limbo, so I spend a good deal of my time away from work alone.  However, the upside is that I have saved my money and learned an incredible personal lesson along the way.

The truth is that we take so much in our lives for granted.  Whether it’s sharing a meal with friends and family, taking a walk along the beach with a loved one or attending an event like a wedding or graduation.  Being so isolated over this time has made me appreciate how priceless time with our loved ones is.  I’ve always known that, but talking to those back home home who say things like, “Oh, I just went up the road to have tea,” or “I’m really not doing anything this weekend.  All I have on is a dinner with friends,” makes me see that we need to be more appreciative of those moments that we do get to share.  But I digress…

So one of the steps I am taking towards my financial freedom is learning to trade.  It’s a little daunting, but it’s exciting to learn something new that is stretching me intellectually.  And sometimes when I look at the charts I am studying it reminds me of the path of recovery.  Highs and lows, sometimes sideways’ moves, but never unchanging.  It’s the nature of things to be dynamic and inconsistent, and it is in that we find life’s exhilaration.  It’s exciting to feel inspired and motivated to take ever-increasing control of all the elements of my life, rather than being a passive participant in the unfolding adventure.  And the more of the story that’s written, they more motivated I am to continue along this road of recovery that is lined with promise, potential and beauty in all myriad of forms.

‘Til next time

Sober Something

build your dream

 

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